Okay...tonight was family movie night, and we watched Batman Begins, which is my favorite of all the Batman movies. Well, The Dark Knight was great, too...Christian Bale is simply A-MAZ-ING. The best actor to have played Batman. EVER.
I love movies, of all genres. Blockbusters and independent films, animated and live action...you name it, and I'm game. I can't even tell you what my favorite movie of all time is, because I love so many different ones, for so many different reasons. However, I have to say that I am frequently disappointed by Hollywood. True...these disappointments are for small reasons, and honestly, in the whole scheme of things, they don't matter much, to anyone but me, probably! But really, the small things can sometimes help a movie make more sense. And most of the issues I have are for things that could be easily changed within the plot or script. I actually have a list of movies that piss me off to varying degrees because of these little things. Batman Begins is the most recent addition this list, which also includes one of my favorite movies of all time: The Boondock Saints. So, I'm not just picking on Batman Begins. Truly, it doesn't make me love any of the films on this list any less. They are all great fun, despite the pissy little issues I have with them!
Towards the end of Batman Begins, there is a climactic scene where an elevated train is moving along through the city, and the track just happens to parallel the city's water supply line. Now, whoever thought up that "genius plan" of burying or constructing a water main directly underneath train tracks, elevated or not, should be spanked. Hard. But I'm willing to suspend my disbelief on that point, because as an engineering professional, I've seen some REAL stupid decisions, usually made for the dumbest reason of all: money.
So,the train is moving along this pipeline, which, by the way, has been contaminated with a hallucinogenic drug that will cause everyone in Gotham to go insane once it is inhaled. Yes...I said an inhalant, distributed via a WATER system...I know, makes no sense, but wait for it...I'm getting there. The pipes are bursting as this train passes over each segment, releasing a white powdery substance into the air. Now, this is accomplished by a device used by the bad guys (led by the totally hot and bad ass Liam Neeson), that is essentially an extremely powerful microwave emitter, which evaporates the water in the pipes, causing them to burst, thus aspirating the poison into the atmosphere. Again...I am willing to accept this part of the story, because theoretically it is possible. However, hasn't anyone given any thought to the fact that the human body is made up of 70% water?? I'm thinking that all this jazz about the poison in the water is a moot point. Once that bad boy is fired up, every living thing in Gotham is going to be essentially dehydrated...literally toast. Okay...I'll suspend my disbelief on that point...it was a cool plot idea....and we'll just give this picky little point about the dessication of every human in Gotham a wide berth, and just push on.
As the train is moving down the tracks, blowing the water main to shit as it goes, the city engineer, who is apparently at some main "control center" for Gotham's water system, keeps referring to the "build up of pressure in the lines". I have to say, that as an engineer, this is where more big, fat, glaring red lights start going off in my head (I know...your thinking, she's upset over THIS??). But when the basic laws of physics and hydraulics are disregarded, I start to have problems. You see, the pipes are being burst all along the train route because of this ultra mega microwave oven from hell, and I'm fine with all that. What I DO have a problem with is that WHAT the city engineer is getting his sphincter bunched about shouldn't be happening in the first place.
Now, for those of you who may not have thought about this, let me give you a quick little lesson in hydraulics. The pipes are under pressure, simply because they are basically a closed system. Once the pipe bursts (ie, when microwaves evaporate the water, causing the heat to blow a big ass hole in the pipes), then the pipe is depressurized, causing air and water (and in this case, the powdery hallucenogenic) to be released into the atomosphere. In a real life water system, that is, in itself, a HUGE problem for city engineers. You don't ever want to see your pressurized pipes have a sudden decrease in pressure. It means YOU HAVE A LEAK...probably a really big one, too!! And that means potentially millions of gallons of clean drinking water is now gushing out into the earth. This is a huge loss in resources, ie money; not to mention the hassle it is going to be to repair these piping systems, and the added pain in the ass of dealing with angry city residents who are going to be rip shit pissed at having to boil their drinking water until you DO get the pipes fixed.
This city engineer's statement make no sense. He should have said the exact opposite, actually. He should have seen a huge drop in the pressure, and that in it self should have been a big old red flag for him, causing him serious discomfort in the posterior region, so to speak. Thinking in terms of the direction of the movie at this point, I see no reason why the concern over the DECREASE in pressure couldn't have been used in the script. Seems to me that it would have just been a simple word change in the script. That'd solve that damn problem. The only reasons I can see for it not being changed is that Hollywood is: (a) oblivious to the laws of physics, (b) doesn't care about the laws of physics or (c) just didn't really catch the writer's error. Seeing as how I don't want to cast aspersions on the intelligence of Hollywood directors and writers ('cause I KNOW there are some brilliant ones out there...), I will just assume it is point (c).
See..my issue with this isn't really that they got this wrong. It's mostly that the reason they DID get it wrong is that Hollywood apparently doesn't hire fact checkers for their scripts. If they do, then the ones on Batman Begins need to be fired! When you are dealing with a movie that is set in reality, (yes, one could argue that Gotham is a timeless setting, but still the freaking laws of physics work there, I'm thinking...), it is important to have the basic rules that govern our planet firmly within your grasp. And for cryin' out loud, a movie with the budget that Batman Begins had, should have been able to hire a geek or two to look over the script and advise on the feasibility of the plot devices. They could have probably gotten a couple of slightly drunken physics majors from Cal-Tech to glance at the script for about an hour, and I guarantee you that even pie-eyed, they would have caught the inconsistencies I found (we geeks are like that you know!). Hell, I would perform this service, FOR FREE, just so I wouldn't have to sit through another big budget extravaganza that bitch slaps the hell out of laws of physics with every plot twist.
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